Reader, I'm probably the smartest person you know. I'm definitely smarter than most of the people you DON'T know. This is not exactly new information. I mean, all you have to do is read this blog to know that I'm some sort of savant. Heck, I'm so smart I can even throw around fancy-sounding French words like 'savant' and get away with it! So if I'm as smart as we both know I am, explain to me how something like this happens:This is, of course, the results icon from an internet IQ test I took yesterday. The test was obviously flawed. You would think, wouldn't you, that with my embarrassingly high level of intelligence I'd be able to determine the correct answers without the necessary 'idiot chore' of reading the questions? Turns out, Reader, you'd be wrong in that assumption. I'm NOT smart enough to simply pick all the right answers at random!
This is a crushing blow to my ego. According to Dr Google, an IQ of 34 puts me about on par with either a highly intellectual piece of limestone or a mentally disabled tree frog, and just a notch above Courtney Love.
The worst part, Reader, is that now I have to wonder how well I really know myself. If I was wrong about my intelligence, what else could I be wrong about? Could it be that I am a totally different person than I think I am? Am I actually a hippopotomonstrosesquipedalianist with Buscemi ankles, or was that all in my head? Are Ronnie, Dom, Gael, Matt and James my indubitable Top Five, or have I just been kidding myself? Do I really like grilled cheese sandwiches with tomato, or am I wrong about that, too? Who am I?
Who am I? (2-4-6-0-1!!!)
I'm counting on you, Reader, to help me through this, my latest identity crisis. In the comments, post one thing you know about me. It could be a personality trait, a favorite something, my shoe size, whatever. EVERYBODY POST! Last time I asked for people to leave comments I only got a few, and it made me sad.
At least, I think I was sad. But I guess I don't really know anymore.
So here I am, Reader. On my knees, soliciting a measly little
7 comments:
You are smarter than me. Dr. Google says my IQ is about 7.
Huh, I guess my brain really has been leaking out my nose.
You are generous. I mean, seriously, who gives up tetris on their calculator during math except a truly generous person? And you are hilarious. And seriously intelligent... which is why I wonder why you thought you could just guess on the iq test... but there's probably some sort of genius reason behind it that I just don't quite get. But you do use a mac. That says plenty right there.
Sad. I took one of those things and it said that mine was 129, which is below President Bush's IQ. Oh the humanity!
You are fabulous with a camera-camcorder-dilly! :) How's that for intelligence?
Your translucent skin produces weird sunburn patterns.
You make obscure references to Les Mis.
You sleep with a photo of James McAvoy in your pillowcase.
You are afraid of bees.
You own three different CDs of dogs barking Christmas songs.
Hey, "anonymous," you stole my bees reference! Okay, something else....I know! Kristen loves London, Western Family brand Peanut Butter Cups, and wearing flip flops.
You hate the sound of children's laughter.
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