... About Having Some 'Splaining To Do

Saturday morning, I was in my bathroom getting ready for the day when I heard Bailey out in the dining room. I'm not sure exactly how to spell what she said, and spell check is not being helpful, but my best guess is that it's something like: "Uergh!"

I opened the bathroom door to see what she was uerghing about and saw her standing in the kitchen doorway, staring at the floor. "What?" I asked. "Uergh," she replied, pointing. I walked out to see what the problem was and, low and behold, my kitchen floor was coated in a thick layer of water and soap suds. It appears our dishwasher elected to stop draining properly and instead spew its soapy innards all over our linoleum.

Bailey grabbed the mop and I grabbed a towel from the linen closet, and we proceeded to soak up the mess and deposit it into the kitchen sink. At one point during the cleanup, while chasing the rogue bubbles that had wandered underneath the fridge, I commented, "This reminds me of something out of 'I Love Lucy.' Only... not funny." Bailey concurred. We were like cheerless versions of Lucy and Ethel, wiping up the evidence of some unfortunate and misguided shenanigan in a very ho-hum kind of way.

This worries me, Reader. Why wasn't it even remotely funny? Lucy and Ethel would have turned our little leak into a riotous adventure. Heck, even the Brady kids would have gotten a well-deserved chuckle or two. Leaking water and oozing soapsuds are practically guaranteed comedic fodder! And yet, during the cleanup and while talking about it later, we pretty much emoted... nothing.

I don't get it. Bailey and I both have senses of humor. It wasn't a huge mess - it took less than ten minutes to clean up. We weren't angry or upset or overly concerned about the dishwasher exploding - we'd just call our apartment maintenance to come over and fix it. It was a Saturday morning, so it isn't likely that we were in particularly caustic moods. We should have been able to see the humor in the situation. I mean, we laugh at things that aren't funny all the time. Like the fact that we both instinctively overanalyze that stupid Skittles commercial every time it comes on. And the danger of sitting in our uber-comfortable but nearly-broken recliner. And Katie.

Than why not laugh at this, which actually has potential to be funny? Is it because we're... *gulp*... 'mature'? Or, even worse, could we be... BORING?!

Ay, me! Oh, how it hurts to even entertain the possibility!

We're not boring! Are we? Do boring people get sucked into the glories of 'Planet Earth' and watch for hours on end? Do boring people leave their apartment to hang out with friends at least twice a month? Do boring people make themselves the same thing for dinner practically every night for a week? I don't think so, Reader. Our lives are rich and full and highly entertaining. Average Joe and Jane would consider it a privilege to be the proverbial flies on our wall, to get to witness the hilarious antics of our day-to-day lives!

Just picture it, Reader! Imagine getting to sit back and watch me go to work every day! You could laugh along as I spent hours on the phone making futile collection calls. You'd have to stop at catch your breath as I processed incoming checks. And don't even get me started on the hilarity that would ensue as I sorted credit card receipts! You'd be in stitches to see me come home and microwave a chicken pot pie.

Oh, my, Reader! Can you imagine how awesome it would be if they actually turned my life into a TV show? Think of the possibilities! Laugh track, shmaugh track - a sitcom of my life would make the world drown in real, honest-to-goodness mirth! Ha! Ha ha ha! Ha ha ha HA ha ha ha!

...uergh.