... About Color Safe Bleach

I'd like to take this opportunity to apologize to you in advance, Reader. As you know, I'm a bit of a moviequote-o-phile. You've probably noticed that I have a pre-programmed movie quote response to almost any question you could ask me. I give them out like free iPods. You know, I pretty much just put them into those t-shirt guns and shoot them out at sporting events. And now, after attending an advanced screening last night, I can guarantee that I will be whipping out fantastically witty quotes from a movie you probably haven't seen yet. It'll probably drive you nuts; you'll wonder what in the world I'm talking about. So I'm sorry. But my love for this movie ain't no Etch-a-Sketch. This is one doodle that can't be undid, homeskillet.

So what is this movie that has me so worked up? Well, I'm not going to tell you. I'll just let the two reasons I went to see it in the first place tell you instead:





That's right. Reason one and reason two: Michael Cera's gams. Sexy!

JUNO. In all seriousness, this was the best movie I've seen in a theater for a very very very very very very very long time. I highly encourage you to go see it. Unfortunately for you, Reader, it doesn't hit theaters until next week. Please, stop crying. Don't look at me like that. Or is that just what your face looks like sometimes? Honestly, I will feel sorry for you until you have a chance to see it, but in the meantime I hope my endless stream of JUNO quotes will be a little blessing from Jesus in this garbage dump of a situation. But don't worry! Soon we'll sneak some orange Tic-Tacs and blue mouth-staining slushies into the theater and you can witness the quirky glory of JUNO for yourself.

I know what you're thinking, Reader. I am probably the coolest person you've ever met, and I don't even have to try.

I try really hard, actually.