This morning it got so bad that while I was leaving for work, fuming over all the horrible things Ice has said and done to me lately, I just couldn't help it anymore. I was trying to stay level-headed, to keep myself from saying something I didn't mean, as I scraped Ice off my windshield. But Ice wasn't in nearly so calm a mood. It was bitter, and after all these years it knew exactly how to hurt me. I started to cry. And by "cry" I mean "bleed." Out my finger.
By the time I got to work I had mostly settled down, and I decided that I would just have to sit down with Ice this evening and work it all out.
But, no. Ice wouldn't have it. During my lunch break, Ice showed up and spitefully took away my afternoon refreshment. Normally I can get a drink during lunch and it will last me until quitting time, but not when my cup is about 5/6 Ice and only 1/6 Pepsi.
Seriously, what does Ice think it's doing? Is it trying to goad me into a bad mood? Does it actually enjoy fighting with me?!
I'm sorry about that, Reader. Thanks for being such a good friend. You know you can always come to me when you need to vent, too. If there is a problem, yo, I'll solve it! Check out the hook while my DJ revolves it! (dun-dun-dun-duhduh-dun-dunnnnn....)
3 comments:
Kristen you are so funny! Love the post! You tell the ice who is boss!
I too have the same problem with ice. Exhibit A: I ATE IT when I was trying to make it down my apartment stairs. When I say 'ate it' I mean that. Of course this is partly to blame on my idiot of a landlady who won't allow us to put ice on the stairs, but still, if there were no ice, there wouldn't be a need for salt. So you know what I do? I kill it. I take a huge pitcher of STEAMING hot water outside with me and I kill it. Take that ice, see you in Hell.
Shiz, and by 'ice on the stairs' I mean 'salt on the stairs.' See, ice has gotten to my brain...
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