... About My New Favorite Word

• sompletely (adj) - entirely and whole-heartedly, but with reservation or exception

Okay, Reader, let's use it in a sentence: I sompletely enjoy stupid people whose single-digit brain cell count provides me with plenty of fodder for my misanthropic banterings. I won't embarrass the somplete genius who unintentionally added this gem to the lexicon by referring to them by name, but I'll give you a sompletely helpful hint. S/he may or may not be related to someone who may or may not be in a romantic and/or platonic relationship with someone who may or may not read this blog.

Is your brain churning yet, Reader? Good.

I'll openly admit, that when this word was discovered by myself and the unfortunate relation of its creator, we just chuckled. But it got me thinking. If a somplete half-wit can come up with a new word, why can't I? I mean, think about it. Sting invented the word 'synchronicity,' and he's a ruddy Rhodes scholar. Are you trying to tell me that this neanderthal has more in common with a Grammy-winning mega-genius than I do? I should think not. I must come to conclude that anybody can come up with a brilliant new word.

I think the trick is finding a word that so perfectly sounds like what it means. That's the real art behind 'sompletely' and 'synchronicity.' So now I have to decide - do I go the intelligent route, like Sting, and change the part of speech of a pre-existing word and thus create a new meaning, or do I take the sompletely easy way and just combine two words that are so close to being opposites that they actually work when put together?

... Well, it is Friday. Easy way wins!

Let's see... how about... 'chaorganized'? No? Hmmm. How do you feel about 'specterrible'? Really? 'Cause I kinda like it.

Turns out this may be harder than I thought.

There has to be a better way, a middle ground, something inbetween Rhodes scholar and neanderthal... I know! Will Ferrell! If anyone knows how to ride the line between idiot and intellect, it's Will Ferrell. And he invented two of my all-time favorite words: ginormous and scrumtrelescent! So maybe I should follow the Ferrell method of combining two similes to create a super-simile. That's how I'll manage to come up with a fantational new word!

'Fantational'? Should that be my new word? Probably not. I'm not sompletely in love with it.