Friday, April 25

... About The Readership of This Blog

A couple of years ago I came across a list of 1000 places to see before you die. At that point I'd seen maybe a dozen of them - since then I've visited a few more. But not very many. And I started to feel discouraged, because I'm at least a quarter of the way through life, so I should be a quarter of the way through the list, right? That made me feel kinda blue.

But then I started thinking. That list is all about places to see, but there's no mention about the stuff you should do once you get there. And really, isn't life all about the stuff we do? I've done all sorts of stuff that isn't on the list! Now, I've never seen the Shari-i-Zinda tombs in Uzbekistan or the Yasawa Islands, but I have gone to Denny's at 2 in the morning with crazy makeup all over my face. So rather than write a list of things I want to do before I die, here's a list of 25 Amazing Things I've Already Done. Some are location specific, others could have happened any time, anywhere:

1 - I have bartered with a man named Babu over the price of a sweater.

2 - I have walked barefoot through the grass in front of the White House.

3 - I have gotten my classmates and myself out of a quiz by telling the teacher it was my birthday. Three times. In the same class. In the same year.

4 - I have laughed so hard I fell off the couch.

5 - I have appeared on "Late Night with Conan O'Brien".

6 - I have gotten two science fair trophies at the same time.

7 - I have swam with sting rays.

8 - I have sung my way into a free ticket to sporting events.

9 - I have worn $800 Manolo Blahniks.

10 - I have been a presenter at an awards ceremony.

11 - I have gone snipe hunting.

12 - I have dyed my hair blue, and not just for Halloween.

13 - I have frolicked through a fountain.

14 - I have touched the rocks at Stonehenge.

15 - I have been hugged so hard that it made me squeak involuntarily.

16 - I have chased a pig at a rodeo.

17 - I have eaten breakfast in a 700-year-old pub.

18 - I have slept mere feet away from a live, wild buffalo. (It's a buff!)

19 - I have snuck up on a couple making out in a car and scared them.

20 - I have used someone dressed in a giant cat suit to ask a guy out.

21 - I have seen the back of George Washington's head. And Thomas Jefferson's, Teddy Roosevelt's, and Abe Lincoln's.

22 - I have been pooped on by a bird.

23 - I have eaten a chocolate crepe in the shadow of the Eiffel Tower.

24 - I have snuck into a theater halfway through a show.

25 - I have been applauded for simply walking into a room.


Wow. What a full and productive life I lead.

Hey, Reader, do me a favor. Are you paying attention? Okay.

I want every person who reads this blog to add a comment and list a few of their shining moments.

Follow my examples above. Or don't, if you're feeling all James Dean about it. If you don't have a Blogger userID, just do it under "anonymous" and make sure you include your name in the comment. Even if I've never met you, and you're just blog-stalking me because Kenna told you to. Even if you're someone who regularly posts so I already know that you visit. Even if you think you don't know how to work the "comments" option because these dagnag computers are just so confusing.

The truth is, Reader, I have no idea how many of you are even out there. Every now and then someone unexpected will say, "I was reading your blog and dot-dot-dot". I'm just insanely curious! I want to know! Because knowledge is power.

Which reminds me....

26 - I have carried on a week-long argument about which is more powerful, knowledge or nunchucks.

7 comments:

kenna said...

This is great. I'm excited. Yes, I do blog stalk you and encourage others to do the same...

1. I have had brain surgery via my nose.

2. I have swum and KISSED a stingray. (...sorry steve, that it didn't work out for you...)

3. I have been on a cruise.

4. I have hiked a 900 ft. waterfall in Jamaica.

5. I have married the man of my dreams.

6. I am still married even after two years of being shit on.

7. I have played college soccer.

8. I have been vulnerable.

9. I have experienced moments of utter and pure joy.

10. I am still alive after 23 years of near death experiences.

Anonymous said...

hey, i'm one of kenna's friends and she recommended i try this out. so here are a few: i have dipped my hand in the nile river. i have slept under a mosquito net. i have been to the top of the world trade center. i stole the remnants of a pizza from an abandoned table in london.

Jessie said...

I love this, too, and hopefully I post here often enough that you know who I am. Here's my 10 off the top of my head:

1. I have bungee jumped (at a place that has since become a college, and now a veterinarian, I believe).

2. I've had my water broken unintentionally by a doctor.

3. I've broken my nose by falling off a bike.

4. I've written with squid ink (using their cartilage as a pen).

5. I've anxiously waited in the waiting room for a child to come back from surgery.

6. I've conducted a group of at least 80 musicians, both in a classroom and on a field.

7. I've driven nearly 400 miles a week every week for 4 months straight just to see the man I loved... thank heavens we get to live together now.

8. I've survived a car accident with mere scratches that the tow-truck guy said should've paralyzed me.

9. I've gone to Walmart at 2:00 in the morning just to pass the time.

10. I've been pulled over in a driver's ed car.

Anonymous said...

I have chased Robert Redford up and down Provo Canyon, he in a silver Porsche Targa and me in a ginormous ghetto cruiser.

Parrish Family said...

I LOVE your post! You have done some cool things. Let's see if I can think of any to compare to yours!

1. My blood pressure has been high enough to have a heart attack.

2. I have donated my hair to Locks of Love.

3. I have driven to Denny's late on a Sunday night and ate there on Monday morning.

4. I have cooked over 200 breadsticks for an activity all by myself.

5. My mouth has over $10,000 worth of dental work, including over 5 root canals.

6. I have gone pairsailing in Cabo San Lucas, Mexico.

7. I took care of newborn twins when I was 14 all by myself.

8. I too have been pooped on by a bird.

9. I have Vanna Whites signature.

10. I drove a suburban into my family's garage. No one was hurt except the wall.

Anonymous said...

I have handed over the keys to the winner of a new car.

I have cried at a musical on Broadway.

I have seen my father in a dress.

I have been in a hot air balloon.

I sat in the front row of the first round of the NCAA men's basketball playoffs.

I have attended a concert so crowded in a club so small that my hands became pruny from the sheer intensity of other people's sweat.

I have personally tested the theory that news anchors will read anything you put in the TelePrompter (they will).

I have bowled a turkey.

I have had physical contact and exchanged words with Professor Severus Snape's alter ego, Alan Rickman.

Anonymous said...

I’ve been carjacked at gunpoint.

I’ve been to a nude beach

I’ve ridden a bike down a volcano

I’ve given birth to four beautiful, intelligent, girls

I’ve had montezuma’s revenge

I married an awesome guitar playing, non-spanish speaking Mexican

Hey, what’s up with the anonymous ones. You’re supposed to put your name on them.

Stacy Chapa