... About Running My Own Country

I've always wanted to travel to faraway destinations. I want to experience cultures different from my own, to broaden my understanding of how I fit into my corner of the world. Nowadays, with the help of Dr. Google, I sometimes take what I have decided to call for the purpose of this blog, "virtual mini-trips." I'll pick a place in the world where I'd like to go, and look up everything I can find about it. Pictures, maps, tourist guides, must-see spots... sometimes I'll even look at airfare and hotel prices, just to give myself a vague idea of the likelihood of me ever being able to afford the trip.

One of the places I've virtually visited recently is Dubai, UAE. Holy crap, this place is amazing. And it's crazy architecture and man-made private islands, and it's all been built with oil money. If you think about it, that means that last time I filled up my car I helped pay for this:






which essentially makes me an investor. Not a large one, granted, but maybe that little pile of sand that represents the Falkland Islands is all me.

So I was digging this Dubai idea until I looked at their official website today and saw: "Please note that Israelis and travelers whose Passports bear Israeli stamps will be denied a visa."

Sigh. All desire to visit Dubai flooded away. I want no part in a place like that! In fact, I'd like my Falkland Islands back, thank you. I no longer support this effort. Until the Middle East is able to bury the hatchet and figure out the need for Arabs and Israelis to co-exist peacefully, I won't be heading out to Dubai. And, if history is any indication, that will happen in about 2.7 million years. By then, Dubai will probably be overrun with Japanese robots, and that does not a happy vacation make.

Last night in Institute we were talking about some of the troubles of the world, like the Middle East crisis, the housing slump, the economy crumbling, etc. Brother Shamo said, "Did you hear? Obama, Hillary, and McCain were all in a boat that sank. Guess who was saved? America." It's funny (and sad) because it's true.

So now more than ever, Reader, I am realizing the real need for me to establish my own country. Don't get me wrong - I Y America. But our system has a couple of kinks, kinks that I've thought long and hard about and have come up with ways to make less... kinky (although that doesn't sound very fun). However, since the possibility of getting these de-kinklers into action in the U.S. Government are slight, running a country of my own is probably the only way to give them the chance they deserve.

Bailey used to make fun of me for dreaming about owning my own country. But she's beginning to see the light. We won't have any hobos because there will be government-subsidized work programs where residents help a community shelter to retain self-sufficiency in exchange for room and board. We will be the most green country on earth - all vehicles will be electric, powered by under-ocean turbines and/or wind energy, and all buildings will be constructed of renewable resources. And, most importantly, every restaurant will be required to have pictures of all of their menu items so you don't end up ordering Iggy's Sicilian Lasagna by mistake (shudder).

The possibilities are endless, Reader! Seriously, who wouldn't want to live in my country? I have it all worked out. All I need is some land and stuff to make a flag, and I'm all set. Land's pretty expensive, though. And I'm a little strapped for cash at the moment. Hmmm... Maybe I will take a page out of Dubai's book and build my own island instead! Perfect! Trust me, Reader. Give it a little time and my country will overflowing with loyal, hard-working citizens.

Oh, yeah, there's one tiny little thing I forgot to mention. Please note that Canadians and travelers whose Passports bear Canadian stamps will be denied a visa.