... About My 50th Post!

My, how the time has flown.

Reader, I've been doing a lot of thinking about this post, which (contrary to what the title of this blog may suggest) is not all too common. Usually I just type whatever happens to be floating around in my head at the moment. But I wanted this, my 50th post, to be a bit more... special. One of the things I considered doing was making a list of 50 Things You Probably Don't Know About Me.

I could only think of 12. And three of them involved freckles in places you don't need to know about.

Then I thought I could make this like a special recap edition, like when they do clip shows on sitcoms. But then I remembered the commitment to excellence I made on my very first post, and decided it's about time I honor it. Besides, it would have taken FOREVER to read through all 49 of my previous posts and whittle them down to just a few highlights. How do you separate greatness from even greaterness?

Now I'm stumbling around inside my own head, searching for that third (and therefore, by the indisputable law of 'Third Time's the Charm', ineffable) idea. What should this momentous post say? What precious jewel of wisdom should I bestow upon you, my Reader, today? What do I think, that you must know?

...

(three days later)

I've got nothing.

How can that be? How is it that I've managed 49 effortlessly brilliant posts, but when I get to the magical number 50 I suddenly freeze up? Have I run out of things to think? Have I already told you everything?

Is this it? The end? Am I washed up, worn out, a has-been?

No, no! It can't be! *gasp, pant* It's getting hard to breathe. The walls are closing in around me. I feel like I'm fading, like I'm just slipping away... I see a bright light up ahead...

Why are so many commercials so lame? Like the one where the six-months' worth of laundry comes rolling through the yard.


Or the one where the guys are in that lab with the gloves-in-the-glass-box thing and they squirt that disgusting-looking Starburst thing and "have to get in there"?
Super !

But easily the most asinine of all are those stupid phone commercials that they try to make look like movie trailers. I can't decide which one I despise more, the 'action-crime-drama' one where the chick buys a purse with her phone as they're fleeing the police, or the 'sappy-chick-love' one where the girl is afraid to love... her phone.
Spectacularly !!!

Commercials used to be good. They used to be funny when they were supposed to be funny, or thoughtful when they were supposed to be thoughtful. They used to make sense. It's like the standard of excellence has just plummeted down the crapper. And since they now show more commercials per hour than they used to, it's like we're being overwhelmed with junk! Don't people care about quality anymore?


Wow, Reader! I made it! I pulled through! I've come through the darkness to the other side. My blog will live on. I'm so glad we got through this together. We hit a rough patch for a while there, that's for sure. But we'll be all the better because of it. Why, my blog almost went under today! This near-death experience is just the kind of wake-up call I needed.

My next 50 blogs will be even MORE spectacular, even MORE thought-provoking. They'll be jam-packed with 30% more mind-boggling blogginess!

So enjoy, Reader! Here's to 50 more!