No, no, it's not a third arm or something freakish like that. It's pretty much like an extra toe. Only it's coming out of my eye.
.......My boring old eye...............................................My new and improved toe eye!......
Awesome, huh? I mean, seriously. How many times have you thought to yourself, 'If I could only grow an extra toe out of my eye, life would be golden'? Please try to keep your jealous rage to a minimum, Reader. I didn't ask for this. God's blessings are mysterious.
Anywho, I went to the clinic yesterday to get my toe eye officially documented (for science). The intern who checked me in did all the regular stuff - blood pressure, asked about medications, etc. Then he asked me how tall I was. "Five-six," I said. He clicked the end of his pen to write the measurement onto my chart, but before he wrote anything down he paused.
"How tall?"
"Five-six."
"Five-six. Sorry, I must have some kind of short-term memory loss." He lowered the pen to the paper, then stopped and gave me a pained expression.
"Five-six," I said again.
"Got it."
A couple minutes later, he asked what I was coming in for. I would have thought it obvious, but I just pointed to my new toe. "That's.... yeah, that's pretty big," he said. I could tell he was impressed. When he handed me over to the PA, she took one look at my toe, then my chart, and called him back in the room and asked him if he gave me an eye exam. "Whoops," he said. "I forgot."
If my purpose for being there was about my eye, I'd be a bit concerned about the fact that this person who forgot to give me an eye exam is providing people with medical care. But since I was there about a toe that just happened to be in the general eye region, I'll let it slide.
Now, Reader, I'll be the first to admit that I have a terrible memory. I was scanning through a bunch of old home movies lately to put something together for Mom's 50th birthday party, and I remembered pretty much nothing from the videos. None of the vacations, none of the parties, none of the concerts. I know these things happened, but if you wanted me to describe any of them to you with any kind of detail, you'd be short on luck.
And a lot of them weren't even that old! I was watching videos of me taken while I was in high school, at college - and I remembered almost nothing. My room used to look like that? My hair was that long? I wore that jacket on purpose? Sometimes, when I do have strong memories of things, I have to wonder how accurate those memories actually are.
There was a movie out a few years ago called Final Cut. It starred Robin Williams as a film editor - only the films he edited were composed of footage shot on tiny camera implanted into people's brains. When they died, he'd put together a highlight reel of their memories. In the movie, the brother of a deceased man commented on a scene of the them fishing as children. "Did you change the color of the boat?" the man asked. "I remember it being blue."
How is it that I remember a random scene from a weird movie I only watched once years ago, and I can't remember the title of my favorite childhood book that I read at least a dozen times? If my memory is this bad now, how much worse will it get as I get older?
Why do people keeping walking by and giving me funny looks? Oh, yeah. Maybe it's because I have a toe eye. I forgot.
3 comments:
Wow! A real live toe-eye. You are so lucky, all the rest of us are left to our dreams at night of frolicking around with a toe-eye, and you get to do it while awake! I'm hoping to hear more about your new and improved life with your toe-eye.
First off, brain surgery wiped me of ALL my memory pretty much.
Next, I LOVE doing things in the name of science. Like documenting your freakish eye.
Lastly, don't get me started on how I feel about some of the peeps working in medical professions.
As an ocular podiatrist I must point out that you have eye-toe not toe eye. As such you should consult as soon as possible with an OP.
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